Growing pains.

God is doing huge things in my life and in my heart.  I can feel it.  He's changing me.  Not into a different person, but into the kind of woman He intends for me to be.  It's not a comfortable feeling, and it's certainly painful at times, but the knowledge of the person I'm becoming and the hope of the future He has in store makes it all worth it.  I'm growing, and I've finally accepted that it isn't easy.  Relinquishing control to Him has been a constant battle for a long time and every time, He's shown me how damaging it is when I try to do things on my own. I'm ready to listen to the things He's trying to teach me and I'm ready to let Him mold me into a better person.

I'm learning to stand by my convictions in the face of trials.  I'm learning patience on so many levels.  I'm learning how to be steadfast, honest, openminded, trusting, faithful, and so much more.  I see these things developing in my life and it's really cool.  Although I know I'm far from getting there, and that I'll never fully attain any of these characteristics, seeing these things grow from my brokenness has shown me how powerful God is. 

He's wrecked me, and through the process of healing and learning, He is refining me.  I'm learning to cling to Him completely, and in turn, I'm learning how to be more like Him every day.  Honestly, that's really all I want. Sure, there are a lot of important things that I hope for, there are plenty of things I've lifted up to Him.  But the reality is, if I don't exude Jesus, nothing else matters.