Thursday 09.30.10
As I grabbed my breakfast and headed to the computer to check my emails this morning, I looked out my window and couldn't help notice how beautiful it was outside. So, instead of sitting my butt in front of the screen, I took myself, my plate of cheesy eggs, and my hot cup of coffee out on the front porch to enjoy the cool air. It was a different way to start my morning. Wonderful, but different. I wasn't thinking about everything I needed to get done today, I was't stressing out about difficult situations, and I wasn't worrying about my upcoming tests. It was just me and God.
It's been a while since I just talked to God. Sure, I pray all the time, "God, guide me through the day. Bless this person. Protect that person. Give me patience. Help me pass this test. Etc." But it can all seem so demanding sometimes. I'm talking about sitting down and conversing with Him. Not throwing all your needs on Him and then getting on with your day, but actually taking the time to hear what He's got to say for once. It was a really cool, to say the least. I knew He was there, I could feel Him working in my heart.
For the first time in a long time, I felt at peace. I knew that He was working. Something about just sitting there enjoying His creation led me to realize that I do not have to worry. He can control how fast the grass grows, whether or not the birds will find food, or if it will be hot or cool, like it was this morning. If He manages all that, why do I worry so much? It's irrational, really. He's got this. I have nothing to fear.
What's humbling is, it's not that He has to manage my life. It's not an obligation for Him to protect me, to guide me, or to give me a purpose. He does it because He wants to, because He loves me. He likes me. Me. God likes me.
That fact blows my mind more than anything else in the world.
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